So I know I've been really bad at this blogging thing. I know there is like a whopping 2 of you that even care if I blog or not. (Hi Kipper and Allie!) But I'm going to try and be better about it. I think it's a good outlet.
The other night at life group we watched a Rob Bell video. It was about being too busy. Not being able to say no. He said something that really knocked my socks off. It's been echoing in my head all week.
He said something to the effect of this: 'You have to know what you have said YES to, in order to be able to say NO.' Think about that one. Go ahead. Stop and take a sip of your coffee, and read that sentence again. I'll even type it.
'You have to know what you have said YES to, in order to be able to say NO.'
I believe in my life right now God is calling me to a very specific ministry. Which in and of itself is heartpoundingly exciting to me--very rarely have I felt so strongly about something I feel called to do.
I have said YES, and continue to say YES, to wherever He wants to take it--and me. In the past, I have based my YES and/or NO on a variety of things: is it easy? is it cool? will it cost me anything? who is asking? how do i feel this week? am i cranky? am i feeling inspired? is the wind blowing north?
But seriously, so many times in my life I have said YES to things-many, many things...GOOD things. And I think I missed out on GOD'S BEST because my hands were full of good things and I had no more room. I said YES to GOOD THINGS because I could. I could do them in my own strength, with my own creativity and in my own time, and they were GOOD. People liked these things. And I could sit back and feel like I did something and feel GOOD about it.
But GOOD is no longer good enough. It's a cop-out. For me, it's just putting in my time. I want God's BEST. I want to do things that absolutely, positively will be a humiliating failure if HE is not in it. When it's over, I don't want to feel GOOD. I want to feel astonished and humbled and in awe of HIM.
So I WILL BE SAYING NO to many good things in the days to come. I can do that because I have already said YES to something else. Something scary and daring and completely out of my league. I'm scared to death, God, but I'm all yours. And I just have one more thing to say to you, and I will KEEP saying it until I take my last breath: