WHAT I DAYDREAM ABOUT

So I went to this conference and they presented the question: "What do you daydream about?" And I think it was supposed to encourage inspiration. But I could only think of really weird stuff that I daydream about. I decided to pick one of the things I DO daydream about and CAN share with the general public. So here goes.
Sometimes people irritate me. It's true. Some days I find myself getting all worked up about the dumbest irritations. And the funny thing? It's not usually the big things; it's the small stuff. I'm working on being a more compassionate, loving person but it's a long process.
I was thinking about how fun it would be to carry around a squirt gun, and I would get to give people a little squirt when they did something that annoyed me just a little bit.
Like the person that blows their nose right in front of me. Not just blows it, but blows and blows and blows and then sticks the kleenex up there and digs around and then blows again. Dude, go blow your trumpet somewhere private. squirt. squirt.
Or the gum smacker. squirt.
Or inappropriate hugger. SQUIRT.
Or the look-at-me-loud-talker. squirty.
And OH, you want to criticize our soldiers? The young men sacrificing for your freedom to be an idiot? Where's my Supersoaker?
Paris Hilton. Perez Hilton. Kathy Griffin. Bill O'Reilly. Lady Gaga. People that use 'prayer requests' to spread gossip. Squirto.
How about the giggling chicken who talks during movie previews? Am I the only one that loves movie previews and thinks the talking should stop after the cartoon cat tells you to? squirty squirty squirt you gumsmacking she-devil.
I know right now some of you are thinking there are plenty of times you would like to squirt me. I don't blame you, really. But...
Yeah...I'm dreaming about squirt guns.

3 comments:

  1. I like this squirt gun idea. I feel I'd run out of water fast.

    And my favorite..."prayer requests" to spread gossip. How true is that? Tell me what's going on so I can "pray for you"...be more specific so I know exactly "what to pray for"....right....

    I like Bill O'Reilly, so I wouldn't squirt him. But there are many more I would squirt. Many more.

    :)

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  2. haha! gum-smacker... i know what you're thinking.

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  3. Krystle-I would squirt Bill when he interrupts people. That drives me nuts. Shawn- Ha!

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